Madhav & Friends : Bhagavad Geetā through everyday stories | Chapter 4 : Taming Desires

 Madhav & Friends : Bhagavad Geetā through everyday stories

Chapter 4

Taming Desires

It had been 5 years since Madhav and his friends had passed out of their college in Trichy. Sudarshan was doing well in his job and was now stable. His family were looking for a suitable bride for him. Radhika, had completed her MBA from Chennai and had moved back to Trichy hoping to start-up her own venture. Varun was doing well for himself in the US. And Madhav had been promoted and taken additional responsibilities at his work.

The friends were in regular touch with each other through whatsapp and social media. Varun would make a trip to India once a year and that’s when all the friends would make it a point to meet together.

It was December and Varun had made his annual trip to India. All the friends decided to meet at their regular hang out cafe near their college. Professional life had added a level of maturity to them but for each other, they were still the young college kids. Cracking jokes at each other, talking without making sense for hours, just sitting in each other’s company. This was their space of freedom. No judgements, no expectations, no pressure of the outside world.

At the cafe they were chatting away like college kids. Varun had bought gifts for all the 3 friends. A nice jacket for Sudarshan, an expensive microphone for Radhika and a watch for Madhav. The three friends were surprised at this gesture, especially because the gifts seemed expensive. They were happy but a bit hesitant to accept the gifts. 

Madhav said, “Varun, it is very thoughtful of you to have brought these gifts for us. It shows you remember us even when so far from us. But we are friends. There is no formality between us. For us you spending time with us is more valuable than any gift.”

Radhika added, “Yes Varun. gifts can never replace the time we spend together.”

Sudarshan nodded in agreement with both Madhav and Radhika.

Varun replied, “Arre, I know. But I just felt like getting you guys some gifts. There is no formality in this. It is just a gesture.”

All 4 of them started chatting again sharing their updates from life and work.

Varun was talking about his life in the US. How there is so much comfort there, how things are so easy, quality of life is better, etc.

Varun started showing his new phone, his car in US, his house and other such possessions.

All the other 3 looked with interest feeling happy for their friend.

Varun said, “You know you can fulfil all your desires in the US.”

Sudarshan replied, “Wow man you are lucky. you get to fulfil all your desires. In India it is not that easy.”

Madhav sensed a bit of arrogance in Varun’s voice and a subsequent dejection in Sudarshan’s tone. He said, “Being able to fulfil desires is not important. What is important is to realise which desires are good and which ones are bad.”

Varun instinctively replied, “Desires are always good. They make us happy. So how can there be a bad desire?”

Madhav replied, “Desires intrinsically are not good or bad. But attachment to desires can really affect our decisions.”

Sudarshan interrupted, “But don’t we all live to fulfil our desires? Having a house, a family, a car, some money, etc.? Are these wrong? How can desires lead to wrong decisions?”

Madhav replied, “When our attachment for any desire grows strong, it starts affecting how we think, feel, and act.”

Varun & Sudarshan still looked confused.

So Madhav clarified, “Bhagawan Krishna explains in Bhagavad Geetā, when we keep thinking about any particular object, attachment for it arises; from attachment, desire is born; from desire, anger arises. From anger comes delusion, from delusion loss of memory, from loss of memory the destruction of intellect, and from loss of intellect, one is ruined.”

Varun & Sudarshan were now listening to Madhav intently.

Madhav continued, “As long as you desire to make other people happy, it is not bad. But when your desires create a craving inside you, an uncontrollable urge, then it can be harmful.”

Varun and Sudarshan both were now silent and looking a bit embarrassed.

Radhika tried to lighten the moment, “Hey Sudarshan, did you find a girl to get married to? Your parents are looking for a suitable match for you right?”

Sudarshan smiled and the group again started chatting about various things.

Varun was however contemplating over what Madhav had said.

All the four friends left for their home after dinner.

Next day Varun called Madhav. It was a public holiday and so Madhav was at home and free. Varun asked to meet Madhav. They met at a newly opened premium cafe in the town. 

Madhav asked Varun, “Tell me Varun, what did you want to talk about?”

Varun looked a bit hesitant to ask. 

So Madhav initiated, “Is there something bothering you? Is everything ok back at home? Or is there something in US that is making you worried?”

Varun looked at Madhav and spoke, “Madhav, I need some guidance.”

Madhav was listening attentively.

Varun continued, “You know, in US, life is really comfortable. But sometimes, I still feel hollow. I keep buying things for no reason. I have lot of friends there. I keep going out with them for dinner, travelling, etc. So it is not loneliness. But a certain void which I cannot understand. And when you spoke about bad desires yesterday, it somehow just resonated with me. Something inside me told me that this is the answer. So, I wanted to talk to you.”

Madhav got the drift. He asked, “So you too are now getting drawn into the web of desires?”

Varun looked at Madhav with a puzzled expression. 

Madhav clarified, “Varun, this is not a problem. Especially since you live in US where everything is so accessible, having desires is natural. But what is important is to tame the bad desires.”

Varun instantly asked, “How?”

Madhav replied, “Anytime you feel the deep urge or craving for any material thing, like a possession or food or even towards some individual, you need to take a pause. Ask yourself “what need is this fulfilling?” And if the response is none, then may be you need to avoid the activity.”

Varun looked confused, “But how do I pause? The urge is so strong that I just go with flow and order that thing or eat that dish. It really gets difficult to think in such times.”

Madhav nodded in agreement and replied, “You are right. It won’t happen immediately. You need to practice to train your mind for this. Develop Viveka Buddhi to pause and reflect on the desire.”

Varun asked, “Viveka Buddhi? How do I develop that? How do I train the mind?”

Madhav replied, “For starters, start with some meditation exercise. Sit quietly for atleast 15 minutes every day and try to focus on your body. Focus on your feet, then your legs, your stomach, your heart, your shoulders, your hands, your fingers, your neck, you head, etc. Focus on each of the body parts. Feel the tension in the body and try to relax it. Let it be loose, no stiffness. This will help distract the mind from outside world to your physical self.”

Varun was now listening attentively.

“Practice slow, deep breathing for atleast 10 breaths. Do this 3-4 times during the day. This will also help calm your mind.” Madhav continued.

Varun was now taking notes on his phone.

Madhav said, “Every night before going to bed, sit quietly alone and reflect on your entire day. What all did you today. What were the things which you could control. Which situation came to you unexpected. How did you handle or react in different situations. This will help you assess your own actions and train your mind and intellect to pause and reflect.”

“If you do these 3 things atleast for now, you will see a change in the way you assess situations. You shall be able to respond instead of reacting to the situations. And that is where the Viveka Buddhi develops.” Madhav said.

Varun seemed a bit happy. He said, “Are you saying by doing this I will be able to fill the void? The hollowness which makes buy unnecessary things? The carvings which make me eat anything? Will I be able to control this?”

“May not be from day 1, but eventually you will be able to tame the desires. After all desires are what an outwardly mind can give birth to. But an inward turned mind, will only give rise to curiosity.” replied Madhav.

Varun looked happy that he had some solution to his problem. He thanked Madhav for his invaluable guidance and they left after chatting for some more time.

6 Months later, the friends were on a group video call on whatsapp, and Varun was visibly more calm and at peace with himself. He was still talking about a new music system he had bought in US, but this time his words did not emerge out of hollowness. They came from a place of awareness.

Madhav noticed this change in Varun. And after the video call Madhav sent a message to Varun on WhatsApp, “I see that the meditation is working for you. Happy for you and keep continuing it. All the best 👍”

Varun immediately replied, “Would never have been able to do this without your guidance and help. Thank you 🙏”

Both smiled looking at each other’s message feeling happy.